I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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