playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
