The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
