We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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