is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I think i got beer on your cat.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
