I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I love having hate sex.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
