so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
