i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Randomize
