fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
