Your tits are I can't wait for
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
