And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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