i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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