Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
