I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
