well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
