OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
