While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize