Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
