I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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