So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
