we have officially lost it.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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