How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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