The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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