i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
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found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
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Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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