Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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