I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize