I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Randomize
