I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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