but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
