it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
