Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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