he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
