Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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