billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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