Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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