Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
There r osticjed everywhere
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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