ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Say something about gay babies.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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