I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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