well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
