so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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