FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
