I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
