I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
