oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
