He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
