are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
