can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
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