let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
