Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
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