You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
