Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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