is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
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