Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
