so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
did i just pee glitter
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
