Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
