Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
