I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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