the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
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I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
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I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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