i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
