Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I want her autograph on my taint
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
pray to the hookup gods
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
