Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
