Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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