I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
